OPINION // Inter-Continental Boredom

Why both British and American celebrities fell symptom to sombre circumstances at The Grammys and The BAFTAs.

As the photographs of celebrities posing across trans-continental red carpets infiltrated the likes of JustJared and The Huffington Post last week, conclusions swept the internet with equal speed: boring! Dull! Unoriginal! These various blog-voices weren’t wrong, either.

Like the mist constantly draped over Westminster Abbey, The BAFTAs were awash in beige:

Even Helena Bonham-Carter and Tilda kept things demure. Tilda! Where was your fashion architecture? You should never be able to fit through an average doorway in glad rags – never!

Over on the hallowed ground of tackiness, The Grammys (side question: why are music awards ceremonies always less classy than those for movies and television?) were similarly underwhelming. WHY SO LITTLE COLOUR!

It’s understandable (although where were you when we needed you Beyonce/Ri-snoozefest-Ri/M.I.A), The 2012 Grammys were overshadowed by grief as Whitney Houston’s untimely and tragic death preceeded the event. Jennifer Hudson’s rendition of ‘I Will Always Love You’ was the unforgettable moment of an evening that usually brings its share of hilarious gossip to bear, while celebrities were derided for partying afterward. Considering A) the probable causes of Houston’s death B) the fact it occurred in the same hotel and C) that Britney Spears was involved, I’m hardly surprised it was frowned upon.

In London Thatcherite England re-appeared in 2012. Two of the most lauded English dramas of the past year – Downton Abbey and The Iron Lady – are as morose in tone as they are in dress. While Meryl Streep’s Thatcher was certainly a classy broad, her navy and burgundy skirt suits were represented at The BAFTAs by dresses – often in these very colours – that were flattering but dull, waist-tucked yet wow-less. The intricate detail and classic elegance of Lady Mary Crawley’s finery was present on well, the cast themselves as they all wore detailed black:

Note: you are not attending a funeral! You are at The BAFTAs! It’s classy, it’s fun, it’s showbiz! Leave your nation’s history on BBC2 while you wear Prada! Chanel! Colour!

London or Hollywood, The BAFTAs of The Grammys, the current affliction of boredom sweeping wardrobes is – and bear with me – a reflection of the Global Financial Crisis burdening wallets everywhere. No, rolled chinos and boat shoes did not come direct to hipsters everywhere from The Dos section in Vice Magazine. As designers, magazines and personal style bloggers alike interpret the zeitgeist, fashion becomes a voice for the societal movement of the day. Vivienne Westwood opened SEX and convinced youths to subvert traditional English dress and wear safety pins as earrings and ripped kilts as mini-skirts as political unrest between liberals and conversatives under Thatcher’s government reached fever pitch.

Similarly, Phoebe Philo has become today’s fashion wunderkind because she envisioned a return to minimalist classics. Her work at Celine has infiltrated High Street as slim pant suits, long line wool jackets and elegant shirting – in a neutral palette – represent a desire to spend our reduced incomes on timeless quality.

The red carpet is a total snooze fest a the moment, and while imagining Rachel Zoe getting slammed for Nicole Richie in a beige slip is an appetizing thought, you can lay blame at the feet of Wall Street. Either that or Alexa Chung (BORING!) – I’m easy.

- Courtney Sanders